Bobby Bailey (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bobbybailey) wrote,@ 2005-04-08 23:27:00 |
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Open Letter to God
Dear Creator,
I thought I might take a little time to write and basically go over some thoughts I have about everything.
First, I really, truly, and seriously want to believe in you and exceed your expectation of me. Everything, my life, the world, and the general design of the universe is amazing beyond any words I could write. That said, it's really hard to have faith when, even though all the good things are so so grand, the base and destructive things are so present.
I often think about order and chaos and the interplay of those entities in the engine of creation. I wonder though how it can be that it even makes sense that we should be. Why did you even bother? I don't mean to discredit my thankfulness, but it seems that we are poor stewards of our blessings. I think of all the crazy stuff humankind has done, like, but not including: the holocaust, the inquisition, war, capitalism, communism, and all the other things that oppress and kill for no good reason at all. It makes me tempted to think life is just some cosmic accident. The thought of that scares the hell out of me.
i look around and I think I have seen your signature a few places on creation. I think of the complexity of life and the amazing mechanics of nature. From the atom up, the cosmic ballet is so perfect that I cannot imagine it was not written by a master. I think of DNA as the tiny acorn from which the mighty oak can grow. How, I ask myself could all this greatness just be a mistake? Evolution and the constantly improving nature of life dazzles me and my faith is further reinforced.
Then my thoughts pass to the horrors of life. Nazis dumping bulldozers full of babies into burning trenches. Men killing men for things they should perhaps have anyway, but of which greed has robbed them. I think of life caught in the machinery of nature. It seems absurd how fragile life is. I think of all the lives lost for stupid reasons. I think of the ripples in the pool of humanity from one destructive act. Why can we not see the harm of our ways?
I stand torn. I see the wonder, and I see the tragedy. I see the blessings, and I see the curses. I see that I am a petty player, strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage. Is my life just a tale told by an idiot? I hear the sound and see the fury. What does it all signify?
I wonder if faith is more than just a feeling. Perhaps, faith is a habit that I must actively engage. I cannot live in doubt and fear. I want to be open to the wonders of the world. I want to share my blessings.
It seems a common thing to want to worship you. I think, however, that that is misinterpreted a little.
I do want to glorify the maker of everything but I want to do it by making the most of my life and helping to enrich the lives of those around me. I can think of no better way to give glory to you than to make the most of the canvas that stands before me.
I am going to try my best to turn my life around. Every passing day is another chance to turn it all around and I have let too many go by. Fear and doubt stifle life and crush spirit. Life is too short and precious for those to cloud our path.
I will do my best and I simply ask to reinforce my faith. I only want to know that we are more than just an accident. I simply want to know that my life has a purpose.
Cordially,
bobby
P.S. I have some more stuff to add later. Thanks for reading.
Dear Creator,
I thought I might take a little time to write and basically go over some thoughts I have about everything.
First, I really, truly, and seriously want to believe in you and exceed your expectation of me. Everything, my life, the world, and the general design of the universe is amazing beyond any words I could write. That said, it's really hard to have faith when, even though all the good things are so so grand, the base and destructive things are so present.
I often think about order and chaos and the interplay of those entities in the engine of creation. I wonder though how it can be that it even makes sense that we should be. Why did you even bother? I don't mean to discredit my thankfulness, but it seems that we are poor stewards of our blessings. I think of all the crazy stuff humankind has done, like, but not including: the holocaust, the inquisition, war, capitalism, communism, and all the other things that oppress and kill for no good reason at all. It makes me tempted to think life is just some cosmic accident. The thought of that scares the hell out of me.
i look around and I think I have seen your signature a few places on creation. I think of the complexity of life and the amazing mechanics of nature. From the atom up, the cosmic ballet is so perfect that I cannot imagine it was not written by a master. I think of DNA as the tiny acorn from which the mighty oak can grow. How, I ask myself could all this greatness just be a mistake? Evolution and the constantly improving nature of life dazzles me and my faith is further reinforced.
Then my thoughts pass to the horrors of life. Nazis dumping bulldozers full of babies into burning trenches. Men killing men for things they should perhaps have anyway, but of which greed has robbed them. I think of life caught in the machinery of nature. It seems absurd how fragile life is. I think of all the lives lost for stupid reasons. I think of the ripples in the pool of humanity from one destructive act. Why can we not see the harm of our ways?
I stand torn. I see the wonder, and I see the tragedy. I see the blessings, and I see the curses. I see that I am a petty player, strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage. Is my life just a tale told by an idiot? I hear the sound and see the fury. What does it all signify?
I wonder if faith is more than just a feeling. Perhaps, faith is a habit that I must actively engage. I cannot live in doubt and fear. I want to be open to the wonders of the world. I want to share my blessings.
It seems a common thing to want to worship you. I think, however, that that is misinterpreted a little.
I do want to glorify the maker of everything but I want to do it by making the most of my life and helping to enrich the lives of those around me. I can think of no better way to give glory to you than to make the most of the canvas that stands before me.
I am going to try my best to turn my life around. Every passing day is another chance to turn it all around and I have let too many go by. Fear and doubt stifle life and crush spirit. Life is too short and precious for those to cloud our path.
I will do my best and I simply ask to reinforce my faith. I only want to know that we are more than just an accident. I simply want to know that my life has a purpose.
Cordially,
bobby
P.S. I have some more stuff to add later. Thanks for reading.
